LWT 24 | Eckhart Tolle’s Teachings and the “Gay” Pain Body – Interview with Richard “Nick” Fyffe
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Can the teachings of Eckhart Tolle help dissolve the personal and collective gay pain-body? Is being gay a help or hindrance to spiritual awakening? Does the label “Gay” limit a deeper experience of the true essence of life?
On this recording of our August 3, 2010, teleseminar, we were joined by special guest Richard “Nick” Fyffe to explore what the teachings of Eckhart Tolle say about being gay, the possibilities for healing, being honest, living an authentic life, and spiritual awakening.
In our conversation, we discussed how the process of labeling people (and ourselves) in general can often lead to an overidentification with the egoic label itself.
We also talked about how the gay man, though a heightened sensitivity to difference, might in fact be closer to appreciating the different forms that are all expressions of a unified life force that bonds us all together as one.
Nick is a Peace Minister with the non-denominational, interfaith Beloved Community. As a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking, Nick works with other gay men who find themselves in the grips of Christian fundamentalism, and especially men who are now in traditional marriages and find themselves living a lie.
This was a deeply moving interview with a ton of great insights for healing the gay pain-body and living your truth.
We invite you to listen with an open heart, and to share this conversation with all those who may benefit from its message of hope, healing, and love.
Peace,
Leo & Greg
About Our Guest
Richard “Nick” Fyffe, Peace Minister, likes nothing more than regarding himself as a “regular Joe”….”I find it more and more “extraordinary” to be “ordinary”….How liberating it is to “come without credentials” without the labels that one imposes on oneself or the labels society loves to put in place”.
Just a bit about Nick. Nick is from Ohio but has lived in Arizona for 6 years with his partner Brian. They have been together 10 years.
After graduating high school, Nick married very young at age 18, and soon after had 2 sons. When he was “outed” as a gay, he divorced at age 23. Years and decades of self-judgment, family rejection and the loss of visitation with his sons, depression deepened and manifested in a self-induced Christian fundamentalist mindset. The combination of being gay and Christian launched him into a deep spiritual quest for relief from his depression. During this time Nick was engrossed in his working career of nearly 30 years with AT&T.
Then came along Eckhart Tolle…..life changed…quickly at first, then some back sliding and little by little things started shifting. “I’ve allowed the thought (forms) of others to manage my entire life…and worse yet…I adopted them as my own”…..an intense study of Eckhart’s teachings followed, along with the teachings of Krishnamurt, one of Echhart’s often quoted spiritual teachers.
This brings us to the present period when Nick was recently ordained as a “Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking” or “Peace Minister” after completion of seminary studies with the “Beloved Community Seminary” (a non-denominations interfaith seminary). Nick’s Peace Ministry has been focusing primarily on working with other gay men, who find themselves in the grips of Christian fundamentalism and especially men who are now in traditional marriages and find themselves living a lie. Those who married because their religion told them to do so or they followed societies traditional “Thinking”….JUST LIKE NICK DID.
Nick can be reached at nickfyffe (at) aol.com.
Update: Here is part 1 of a presentation tapped at the Bodhi Tree Bookstore with special guests Nick Fyffe and Peter Bedard of www.CreateYourHealth.com.
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Category: ARTICLES, PODCASTS, TELESEMINARS
About the Author (Author Profile)
Greg Larsen is the co-host of Living with Tolle and is an author, life coach, and spiritual teacher. He "stumbled upon" The Power of Now in 2000 and gave his first public presentation on the teachings of Eckhart Tolle to a Noetic Sciences community group in Nashville back in 2003.Subscribe
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I found this site by listening to the May 2010 Eckhart Tolle. That was just about an hour ago.
I am a mother of a gay son. Kenn and his partner Jake have been together since February, 1989. My husband and I spent last weekend with them. Yes, I have been wanting to ask Eckhart about the subject of homosexuality. Listening to you now has been my answer.
I will let Kenn and Jake know about your site, “Living with Tolle”.
I just signed up with you. More later–
Ardyce This is my 80th year and how happy to find you!!
Hi Ardyce, So happy that you found our site and that we were able to answer your questions! Thanks for sharing this episode with your son and his partner and so happy to have you as part of our community. Peace and blessings, Greg
I just want to express my gratitude with this interview. It has brought some valuable insights to me. Especially the passages about the gay painbody being felt/shared by family members, as well as the idea of offering forgiveness to churches or other organized religions by apologizing for any foulmouthedness or negative thoughts or expressions in their direction.
Taking the steps to reconcile and to go beyond the battle positions.
As to Nick’s saying in the beginning of the interview: “… to lay the religious dogma to the side and to go directly to the source”. That was exactly what a yoga teacher once told, in other, but similar words, at the beginning of a session: “What use is organized religion once you are in contact with the Divinity in yourself?” It struck me.
Thank you,
Peter, Belgium
Your welcome Peter and so glad you were able to take away some valuable insights. Yes, if you are able to go directly to Source that is one of the greatest gifts. The purpose of organized religion is to be a bridge between the unawakened state of consciousness and a direct experience of Source. Unfortunately, religions have lost their way and instead of leading people to Source they have become part of the vail – holding the hand from cradle to grave. So it is up to us to find our way to Source and trust in ourselves to the point where we can let go of religion and commune directly with the Creator. You can still attend church, practice the rituals, enjoy the community, but at the same time be deeply intimate with Source without needing the church to be an intermediary. How liberating! Peace to you on your journey! Greg
The beauty I felt in my heart while listening as you shared with such love on this much needed area of the human experience was tremendous… Thank you Nick and Randy for having the courage to speak out and help heal the pain body for so many. Thank you Greg and Leo for this wonderful program you host! I can say that as a heterosexual female for years I felt very uncomfortable around those with differing sexual orientation. When I finally was freed from my past fear and judgements- what a blessing! The freedom to share love and deep friendships with others where I was once limited would not have been possible. The richness and joy that Nick adds to my life is immeasurable! and what an inspiration… to pull together an apology to be delivered to the church’s that for so long have been such a source of pain and judgement is remarkable and beyond words! So much Gratitude to you all! Hearing this added even more understanding and compassion for me.
Your welcome Debbie and thanks for sharing your experience with the conversation with Nick (and Randy). I love that you are feeling the freedom that comes when the fear and judgment of the ego are shed. There is a richness there and so glad your find Nick adds to much to your life – he is truly a blessing and I’m so grateful he agreed to join us. Keep sharing the beauty in your heart! Greg
@Ardyce, Hello, I am so glad to hear that you found the podcast helpful. I would love to hear more from you about what particular part of the dialogue was the “answer to your question”. I have heard from several mothers who listened to the podcast, many of whom have felt the pain of the “gay pain body”.
@Peter…Thank you so very much. The “forgiveness” is key and I am so glad to hear that it speaks to you. I would love to hear more from you and any ideas or thoughts on how to best to implement the “Declaration of Peace and Apology” on a global scale.
@Randy…I am so glad you called in to share your story. It has been a bittersweet ride to accompany you in your journey to living your truth. Yes, as Eckhart says, “suffering has been our greatest teacher” (up until now)….I Love you dearly Randy
@Debbie…You are my Anam Cara, my soul friend, and I am blessed to know you. Your support in this mission is invaluable!!
Greg and Leo….I wish to again thank you both for bringing forth this important subject to “Living With Tolle” You are bringing the teachings of one of the worlds most profound teachers to life. I am ever so great full!! Let the Healing Begin!!! Deep Peace, Nick
Your so welcome Nick! Yes, let the healing begin! I look forward to hosting the “live” event with you at the Bodhi Tree on November 13th! Greg